


You Were Good To Me

by softenderys



Category: NCT (Band), WAYV
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, But not explicit, Cigarettes, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Mentions of Sex, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-26
Updated: 2019-06-26
Packaged: 2020-05-20 04:25:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19369687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softenderys/pseuds/softenderys
Summary: Ten falls out of love without providing Hendery a solid reason, breaking up with him over a phone call. Three years later however, when Hendery is ready to let go and moves on, Ten suddenly calls him again.





	You Were Good To Me

Strong breeze greets Hendery's face as soon as he opens the door, startling him. He takes a step back, braces himself before stepping out again. His nose scrunches up in distaste at the now disheveled state of his hair, fixing a few strands here and there before heading out to the cafe.

 

He puts on his airpods along the way, mildly enjoying the cold weather of the night. There aren't much people loitering around, given that the area is far from town but he could see makeshifts of silhouettes from strangers standing outside the row of shops, illuminated by the streetlights. He passes by an old man with a cigarette at hand, absently being reminded to the man he's going to meet tonight.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"You're not awake yet?"

 

Ten asked playfully as he took a drag from the cigarette, releasing a puff of smoke from his lips. Hendery could never take his eyes off at the way Ten held the cancer stick, his long fingers delicate yet strong as his free hand plays with his phone.

 

Hendery shook his head. "I wanna sleep a little bit more." Ironically, he kept his eyes opened. 

 

Ten wasn't buff or full of muscle, not at all a huge and tall man that towered over everyone. He's small—smaller than Hendery even—with bones protruding his hips and collarbones prominent to be seen. But he's built and lanky with just the right amount of strength.

 

So when Ten moved and put out his cigarettes, Hendery immediately gave him space to snuggle closer. He latched onto him easily, Ten hovering above him as he pressed a chaste kiss on the corner of his lips.

 

"I don't like it when you smoke in the room..." Hendery's voice trailed away as he traces the artwork permanently carved on Ten's arm. It's a dragon; a black one with narrow eyes and majestic wings. Hendery loved it.

 

Ten looked up from his position against Hendery's neck, a smirk creeping up his lips as he kissed his neck, the sound moist and lewd and it made the latter squirm. 

 

"What? What was it that you're saying?"

 

"T-Ten..." Hendery's face flushed in red, whimpering when Ten tweaked one of his nipples and nibbling on his neck. He moaned when Ten sank his teeth on his shoulder blades, adding to the marks he'd left the night prior. "Ten, please—listen—"

 

Ten faked his annoyance. "What is it? I'm trying to enjoy my meal here."

 

Hendery ignored the remark even if it sent shudders down his spine and made his cock twitch in response.

 

"I don't—ah—like it when you—mmmm—smoke in the room—ah! Ten, listen to me!"

 

Ten immediately stopped his ministrations on Hendery's chest at the sudden change of tone in his voice. Hendery's breathing grew rapid, face fully flushed both from annoyance and lust but he held his gaze. Despite lying to himself that he didn't mind Ten smoking in the room, it's starting to take a toll on his health. 

 

On _their_ health.

 

"Do you want me to die?"

 

Silence.

 

Hendery could tell that Ten didn't like the words judging by his facial expression, solemn and angered. Hendery had never said such things aloud. 

 

But now that he did, he was wishing that he didn't. Because Ten was getting up, leaving him alone on the huge king-sized bed. Hendery only stared at him as he picked up his clothes from the night before, worn them before stepping out of the room.

 

All without a word.

  
  
  
  
  
  


The cafe is dimly lit, but not dark enough for the setting to be considered 'romantic'. Hendery takes a seat somewhere near the window, taking off his airpods as he placed his order—a cup of caramel latte. It's a quarter past 8 anyway and he's had dinner; a cup of sweet coffee—if it can even be considered coffee—would be enough.

 

He remembers coming here the first time with Ten. It was after a late class when Ten asked if he wanna grab some coffee. Truthfully, he was more in the mood for a proper meal since his stomach had been empty the whole day. But he used to have a huge crush on the guy so he followed anyway.

 

They haven't started dating yet at the time. It took them several ups and downs to finally get there, precisely in over 2 years when Hendery finally gathered enough courage to ask him out.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"Hendery, do you really love me?"

 

It was odd to hear the question from Ten. Hendery recalled the last time Ten ever used the L word was probably 3 months back, perhaps 5 months if they didn't count the slip-ups he had during one of his orgasms. Ten didn't like spouting love too often because supposedly, in his opinion, the meaning would get lost along the way. Hendery could care less about it because he made sure to tell Ten everyday—that he was loved and cared about—despite the scoffs he normally get. 

 

But Ten still gave him kisses each time, so he's winning anyway.

 

"Of course I do."

 

There wasn't a single doubt in his voice.

 

"Would you do anything for me?" Ten was smiling.

 

Hendery felt uneasy but he trusted his boyfriend.

 

"Of course..."

 

"Really?"

 

Hendery was hesitant.

 

"Yes." He answered anyway, eyebrows furrowing. "Ten, what is this about?"

 

Ten suddenly leant closer and took his hand. Hendery felt the cold sweat trickling down his back. The elder was acting strange and he didn't like it; it's uneasy to stare at his eyes like this, pure black and consuming.

 

"If I die one day." He began. "Don't mourn over my corpse—"

 

"What—"

 

"And if I leave and stop loving you." The grip on his hand tightened. "Don't cry over the stupid break up. Ever."

 

Hendery didn't understand what he meant. He just nodded until Ten released his hand and pecked his cheek, humming in delight before resuming to do the laundry.

 

They were weird requests, yes. But now that Hendery remembered it, he realised that he failed to keep his promises.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The buzzing sound of his phone knocks him out of his trance. A private number pops up on his screen. He doesn't even know if he's ready to hear his voice again, not after so long and after everything that had happened. Hendery could _never_ be ready.

 

But he also couldn't let the latter wait, so he picks up the call.

 

"Hello...?"

 

"Hey! Hendery, hi!" The voice that he loves very much echoed in his ears.

 

It's a sound of excitement, an emotion he hasn't felt in a long while. Tears well up in Hendery's eyes but he tries to will them away. 

 

His voice shakes when he speaks. "Are you near?"

 

"Yes, yes. Maybe in about 10 minutes? I'm so sorry for being late."

 

"It's okay." _It's really okay. Take as much time as you need._ "I'll get you the usual one."

 

"Okay, great! See you in a bit."

 

Hendery ends the call. He fights the urge to just curl up and cry, calling out for the waitress to take his orders for said man.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"You're kidding me, right?" Hendery huffed a nervous laugh. 

 

But the line was dead silent, save for the breathing sound that Ten always did whenever he's smoking. Hendery never tried smoking before, but he felt like he needed one at the moment. 

 

Or drugs. Far more convenient.

 

"Ten." He started again. "This is not real, right?"

 

"I'm breaking up with you. It's real."

 

_ Of course it fucking is, you idiot. Why would he lie about this? _

 

Hendery could feel himself trembling, slowly losing grip on his phone—and reality—but he tried to control himself. 

 

"Why? That's so sudden—"

 

"I didn't give you a reason to love you, right? So do I need one for breaking up with you?"

 

Hendery felt his heart shattered into pieces, throbbing and in pain. Suddenly the room became too stuffy for him and he was suffocating on his own breath.

 

"But you were...you're supposed to come back and meet me in one month. You told me you'd only be going to England for one month. Then we're back to our normal life—"

 

"Hendery." Ten said, his voice reprimanding and it made Hendery anxious. "Hendery, listen to me."

 

"No! How the fuck did you fall out of love within a couple of days? When did you stop loving me anyway? Today? Yesterday? The day before? The day that you left?"

 

"I just did, Hendery. Shit happened and I don't love you anymore."

 

Hendery couldn't understand why. Tears sprung his eyes and he couldn't stop himself anymore. It's only been 4 days since Ten left and he missed him dearly. He could never guess that the call would be their last as lovers. 

 

Or perhaps it was really their last, because Hendery was yelling nonsense before hanging up, not even bothering to hear what Ten had to say because he was so overwhelmed with emotions.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Hendery never knows anyway; the real reason to Ten's odd phone call. 

 

Ten never calls after that and the younger doesn't know if everything that he's experienced was anything but the truth. He doesn't know if Ten really mean what he said because even if he tries to reach for him, it'd just go to voicemail. Hendery even went to the airport the day that Ten was supposed to arrive, only to come back disappointed.

 

Everything feels like a dream at that point. They don't live together, not yet at least, but plans were made. Ten is supposed to move in with him in a year or so, but Hendery wonders if Ten is real at all. Sure, he has some of his stuffs lying around the house—like Ten's purple hoodie that Hendery loves to wear because it smells like Ten and it smells like home; or the dog plushie he'd hug in his sleep to get through the lonely nights—kept nicely in a huge box and placed in a small store in the apartment.

 

But Ten never comes back. And as much as it bothers Hendery, he decides that he could care less because they're no longer lovers, right? Even if Ten disappears without a trace for 3 years straight, it shouldn't be his problem, right?

 

But how could he forget the man who permanently carved the small heart underneath his collarbone, with the flowers that he loved protruding out of it?

 

Every time Hendery looks at it, his heart throbs in pain. It serves as a reminder that Ten is indeed real. That he isn't hallucinating the whole 3-year relationship he's had with him. All the beautiful and painful moments shared, he keeps them safe in the back of his mind and in the back of his heart.

 

He's ready to let go, ready to be free and move on from this when his phone rings and a private number appears. 

 

Hendery isn't one to take calls from strangers, but something on that day tells him otherwise.

 

Eventually he picks it up and he cries the moment he hears the voice.

 

He couldn't even believe that he's staring at him now, the man who truly owns his heart. The man whom he still loves despite the sudden break up 3 years ago. The same man who went lost without a trace after a phone call that left him in so many questions and much, _much_ despair.

 

"Did I keep you waiting?"

 

Hendery shakes his head. But they both know he's been waiting for a long time. He's waited for answers, and he deserves them. Ten agrees on that.

 

Ten takes a deep breath before extending his hand out. Hendery only looks at it.

 

When did Ten become so thin? He looks like he's been starving himself to death. 

 

His skin is pale, far too pale for a healthy human being but Ten still has the exact same smile that Hendery falls for every time.

 

"Thought you might wanna shake hands." He does, but he can't move. Ten retrieves his hand. "Can we go to your place instead? I'm sure you're confused. I promise I'll tell you everything."

 

Hendery reluctantly agrees. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"Welcome home...I guess..." Hendery whispers as soon as he steps into the quiet apartment. 

 

Ten walks past him and admires the space. _It's been a while_ , he says to himself. He used to come here 4 times a week, 5 times if he's lucky and free. But the living room looks emptier than he remembers, noticing that Hendery had made several changes on the furniture.

 

"You changed the sofa that I bought."

 

"Because it reminds me of you."

 

"Even the television?"

 

"Miko broke it."

 

"Miko?" Ten raises an eyebrow.

 

"A dog I owned. She died a week ago."

 

"I'm sorry..."

 

"No, don't be." Hendery scoffs. "She helped me in coping up."

 

Ten hums in acknowledgement. He walks around the hallway. He could see that none of the pictures collected any dusts, signalling that Hendery had been cleaning up the place frequently. He must've done it to take his mind off the things that had happened.

 

_ That reminds me... _

 

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

 

Hendery freezes on his spot near the sofa. He observes the expanse of Ten's back as the elder walks into the kitchen to have a look. 

 

"No..."

 

Ten whips his head around immediately. "No? Not even one? In these 3 years?"

 

Hendery shakes his head.

 

_ I've been waiting for you... _

 

But he cannot say that. They're over. 3 fucking years ago. 

 

_It's about time to move on, Hendery Wong._  

 

"Me neither..." Ten's words shock him but he doesn't say a word. "I had to get my mind off of...things."

 

_ Get your mind off of me? Figures. _

 

There's a rustle when Ten slides the curtains open, revealing the bright lights from the buildings which illuminate the city at night. He steps onto the veranda. Hendery tails from behind, silently. 

 

"Ah, the view is still as pretty as ever..." Ten mumbles, more to himself. The wind blows, tousling his hair and Hendery is absently being reminded of an imagery he used to have, when Ten was still around and they'd admire the view together after dinner, or right in the morning. 

 

The only difference is that Hendery is a feet away, arms no longer wrapped around Ten's torso or vice versa. His heart throbs. Ten is still so beautiful even though it's been so long since they last met each other. It hurts not being able to touch Ten again.

 

But it hurts more knowing that memories stay as memories.

 

"I missed this." Ten says again. "I miss the view."

 

_ Then why didn't you come back at all? Why did you leave me alone? _

 

Hendery has so many questions, but the only thing that comes out of his mouth is: "I miss it too."

 

It gains Ten's attention, of course. 

 

"What?" Ten quietly asks. 

 

"The view. I miss it too."

 

But Hendery isn't looking at the buildings or the bright lights, isn't even looking out at the night sky above with stars adorning every corner. It's a beautiful view. But his heart doesn't throb for any of them. Not tonight at least, no. 

 

It throbs for the man standing in front of him. The only man who truly owns his heart; his everything. The only man whom he had eyes on for years, and more years to come if he's allowed to.

 

Hendery thinks he's moved on. But the moment Ten realises what he's saying and averts his gaze to avoid looking at his eyes, he knows he hasn't moved on at all. He's ghosting in Ten's presence, has been hoping for him to come back—for everything to become normal again.

 

But Ten is chuckling. Laughter bubbles up in his chest and Hendery is so, _so_ confused. He watches how Ten slumps forward, his chest rumbles as the cold night air becomes their only witness.

 

"You're missing me? Is that what you mean?" Ten asks, voice teasing. Hendery almost missed this. Almost. If his heart isn't breaking into million pieces now.

 

"What's so funny about it?"

 

"It's not." Ten shakes his head, finally calming himself down. He takes a deep breath. "I laughed because I thought you wouldn't care. I laughed at my own foolishness. Do you know how they always say 'ignorance is bliss'? I ran from you because I was scared to know the truth."

 

_ What truth? That I actually cared about you? _

 

"And it is blissful." He bites his lips when he pauses. "Until I realise how much of a dick I was and I owe you an explanation. A real and concrete one."

 

Ten stares up at him. Hendery has nothing to say. Too many things flooded his mind at once; he doesn't know where to start asking.

 

One thing for sure, though, he doesn't fail to notice how Ten has closed in the gap, has moved closer and is now inches apart from where Hendery stands. He really looks the prettiest up close. Hendery missed him so bad. The smell of wood and musk from his perfume brings back all the memories.

 

When Ten finally captures his lips in a silent permission, Hendery realises that the taste is no longer the same. It still tastes like Ten; a mix of sweet and spice. But the taste of nicotine isn't there.

 

It's refreshing.

 

"You never say it out loud, but I realised how much you hate the cigarettes." Ten speaks against his lips. His eyes closed as he tiptoes a little to lock his lips with the younger again. "So I changed it. I changed myself for you."

 

_ Then why did you break up with me and went missing for 3 years?  _

 

Hendery doesn't let Ten sway him away, pushing on his shoulders gently before taking a step back. Ten looks surprised, but it's out of reflex. He remains calm while Hendery feels out of place, heart threatening to jump out of his chest.

 

"Why?" His voice shakes. "Why did you leave me then?"

 

Ten pulls him back into the living room without a word. Hendery feels his heart rate increased. 

 

"Ten." Hendery calls out. "Ten, answer m—"

 

The air is knocked out of his lungs when Ten pushes him down on the sofa. He climbs up the younger, pining him down with both hands. He appears to still be calm even as Hendery is squirming, mind alert at the sudden assertiveness.

 

"I didn't just do it for you." Hendery stops moving altogether. "I did it for myself too."

 

"What?"

 

Ten releases his hands.

 

"I've been recovering."

 

"From what?" 

 

Hendery is confused.

 

There's a long pause as they silently stare at each other. Ten is kneeling above Hendery, careful not to burden him with his whole weight. Hendery, on the other hand, made no effort to move, staring up at the man in demand of answers.

 

"Lung cancer."

 

And suddenly Hendery starts moving, pushing his torso up in disbelief. Ten still keeps his calm facade, leaning back just slightly to give him more room.

 

"You're recovering from what?"

 

Ten gives a faint smile. "You heard me."

 

_ Lung cancer? He had cancer? Since when? Since 3 years ago? How long had it been going? What stage was he at when it was discovered?  _

 

But most importantly... 

 

_ Why wouldn't he tell me? _

 

_ Why did he break up with me? _

 

_ Why didn't he just tell me about it? _

 

_ What if...what if he died?  _

 

"I know what you're thinking." Ten quietly says, pulling Hendery up to sit in front of him. He then hangs his head low. "I didn't want to make you worried. I travelled all the way to England not because of work, but to get the best treatment. I was ashamed to see you again after the chemotherapy...because I lost my hair and shit." 

 

He laughs but there's no humor to it. Hendery doesn't find it funny either.

 

"You could've told me..." Hendery's voice shakes. "You could've told me and I'd fly all the way to England just for you. I'd take good care of you. I'd be there for you."

 

_ I'd do anything for you. _

 

Hendery doesn't even notice the stream of tears that trickle down his cheek. Not until Ten wipes it off with his thumb, kissing his temple in silent affection. He's so worried of Ten because he never called. He even thought of the possibilities that he might be dead, somewhere unknown and alone.

 

He's thought of the worst predicament possible. But an illness...an illness so deadly such as this...

 

And Ten is recovering from it... 

 

Hendery feels grateful. He's not even religious to begin with, never trusting God but right now he feels like praying to Him, thanking Him for giving him the chance to meet the love of his life again. 

 

He feels relief and gratitude wrapping his entire figure, crying his heart out as he buries his face in Ten's chest.

 

"I'm sorry it took me so long." Ten whispers against his hair. His voice soothing and Hendery misses it a lot. "I'm sorry. I hope you still love me after all this time. I hope you'd accept me back into your life. I love you, Huang Guanheng. Have always do."

 

"You—You idiot!" Hendery smacks Ten's sides as he furiously wipes his own tears. "Of course I'd accept you back into my life! You're the only one I love, Ten. Nothing has changed and it never will."

 

Ten laughs as he hugs Hendery tight. He drags his lips lazily against the younger's; salty and wet from the tears streaming down his face but he doesn't care. It tastes like Hendery and it tastes like home—it's scary how much they both share the same thought when it comes to the taste of each other against their own lips, but being in each other's embrace is their only dream.

 

When Hendery finally relaxes, he pulls away just slightly, giving enough space for them to breathe. 

 

"I'm still mad at you for breaking my heart and lying to me."

 

Ten rolls his eyes. "Aren't you grateful enough that I'm still alive?"

 

Hendery takes Ten's hand, intertwining their fingers. He's really thin...is this a result from chemotherapy?

 

"Are you okay, though?" He silently asks. "Didn't it hurt?"

 

"It did." Ten replies, voice as quiet too. "But the doctor wants me to stay positive so I did. It helped me a lot."

 

Hendery hums in acknowledgement. "How long has it been since you finished the treatment?"

 

"About a year ago."

 

A year of recovering alone...

 

Hendery can't imagine how Ten managed to live like that. It must've been lonely and painful.

 

"You were recovering too." Ten says with a small smile. "From a heartbreak."

 

Well, he's not wrong but...

 

"I wouldn't die from a heartbreak."

 

"But you feel like dying, didn't you?" Ten cradles his face in his hands. "I didn't feel like dying when the illness hit me. Sure, there are instances where I wish that God would just take my life away. But I was hoping to see you again. To see your smile again, and to hear your voice again. That's what keeps me alive. 

 

Huang Guanheng, you keep me alive."

 

Oh how he hates it when Ten knows exactly the right thing to say at the right time. He hates it when Ten looks at him like that, so proud and happy of him when Hendery treats himself like a piece of shit.

 

This is exactly why he falls for Ten.

 

And he's still falling. 

 

But he knows that this time, Ten would catch him and never lets him go.

 

So when Ten pushes him down onto the sofa again, he doesn't stop him. He doesn't stop him when he starts to take off his shirt and lathers up kisses against his neck, chest and abdomen.

 

He lets himself drown in Ten's love, baths in it because he truly deserves it.

 

Maybe the thing that Hendery needs most isn't an explanation. It's the feeling of love and to be loved, a feeling he hasn't felt in years.

**Author's Note:**

> the song title is inspired by "You Were Good to Me" by Jeremy Zucker & Chelsea Cutler,,,it's such a sad song but i like it a lot,,,it has beautiful meanings behind it :)
> 
> also, i wanted to write smtg that has a good ending cuz i kinda felt bad from the last tendery au i did on twitter....so this is like a redemption u-u  
> hope you enjoyed this!!!
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/softenderys)   
>  [curiouscat](curiouscat.me/tens_fingers)


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